It's My Voice & Voice of many other Gals..

You think you know me, but you don’t. You believe you feel my pain, but you can’t. You witness my tears and say you will try to understand, but you won’t…. No, you won’t.

I am a person very unfamiliar to you. My past treated me with insufferable evil and much unkindness. I felt abandoned and ashamed, as it left me with countless questions even I cannot answer. Grown-ups always appeared to hate me. For some unknown reason, I was a target for those who wanted revenge or wished to use me. Just as nobody who meant nothing to anyone. No voice. No choice. No hope.

I spent much time in my room as a child. It seemed there I was protected, and no one could harm me. I wrote poems, I sketched, I dreamed. Dreams were a way of escape from a world of pain and weeping. But it appeared dreams would never come true for this little girl. I never found my place in this cold and indifferent world. A child that was afraid of speaking the truth to anyone for fear of being ridiculed and faulted. To them, would my accusations only be something considered imaginary? I wondered if the world would always propose this type of injustice. Thus, I remained silent.

Years upon years kept serving the same unappealing meal to my table. My plate remained empty, for my soul could no longer tolerate the scraps life offered me. Why did I not deserve better? Though diligent in my efforts, a solution remained undiscovered. I only continued to travel the same path of disappointment and misery, because it was all known to me. And I was too terrified to make any unfamiliar turns. The wall of protection I created became too high for anyone to climb.

Some friends, some close one did entered the walls and tried to know me tried to talk to me, at the first few moment it was all a good feeling, then later I came to know that all those who made efforts to climb that wall and reach me were there to scatter me more, hurt me more and use me more. They came, they played and then they left.. They left me more broken, more hurt more crying. Finally a day came when tears dried out, no hurt was hurting me so much, no I wasn’t ever a stone hearted person but this world made me become as such. I, now did not had a heart that bleed, cry or loved, now I hold a heart that is motionless, without feelings and without any love left there in.

I am betrayed, cheated and crushed so many times that now it’s hard for me to believe that any goodness is yet left in the world. For me it is a world full of grudges, full of cheaters, liars and those people who are waiting to destroy someone who is soft hearted and innocent.

This is my story and story of many more girls with the innocent hearts, who then turned out to be stone hearted or a bitch. But before pointing fingers to them, try knowing their turn, trying knowing their misery and try knowing a gal that is dead within.