Tears...

They burn as they trail down my cheeks. 
No one understands. 
No one cares to know why. 
These are my tears to shed alone. 
My tears to wipe away. 
They flow and know no end. 
They hurt and feel no relief. 
Every tear can tell you a story. 
Every sob has its owner. 
They burn from deep within. 
The scars they leave are very deep. 
They are my tears. 
I can use them as I please. 
They can burn me hurt me and destroy me but they are mine.

They burn me let me cry. 
Let me hurt. 
Leave me be. 
Your words can’t console. 
Your words bring no cheer. 
It’s my emptiness and loneliness, 
I don’t want to share. 
You feel nothing and know nothing of these tears. 
Let them flow, let them set this place on fire.

I can no longer hold them back. 
Leave me be with my tears. 
They are not yours to shed or yours to wipe. 
Does it pain you then look away. 
Turn away, walk away. 
I need to release and let them burn. 
Be free from all of this. 
Be free from all theses confines.

It’s the last of them now. 
My eyes can shed no more. 
The aching, the longing, the fear, 
the anger, the burning is gone. 
Maybe just hidden for now. 
They are my tears that I shed. 
They are my fears that won.

Goodbye for now, my tears. 
I know we will reunite..

I have cried a lot and actually really want to cry a lot more but now I am numb, I just don't feel anything. I don't even remember when did I last cried my heart out. As a child I use to dump my face in my pillow and cry out loud, for my voice to not go out of that pillow or room for hours. Most of the nights I slept crying, half of my pillow use to remain wet till almost morning and then my tears knew to not be noticed by any tress passers, so they would dry out before the sunrise. This was one of my favorite habits to let my deep hurts flow in the salty water from the eyes. From early teens till my 30s I kept this habit as my best friend, stress reliever and the soul keeper. But now I cannot cry anymore..

Even when I am upset, I distance myself from everyone or hide up in the comfort corner of my house where no one would bother to find me. I don't know if shedding tears was really relieving my stress or not but today when I want to cry and still I cannot cry, I feel more weak inside, I feel numb, I feel dead inside. 

Tears are nothing but the words that mouth can't say nor heart can bear. And now I miss them the most, my heart is heavy and I have no words to say but still why my tears aren't flowing?? Why???